TODAY'S EDITION
VOL. XXVII $0.00 — OVERPRICED
SERPcast™: 68°F · VOLATILE
SECTION · THE ACTUAL NEWS (YES, REALLY)

SEO NEWS

The real stuff happening in search — core updates, the zero-click SERP, AI Overviews eating the blue links, and the new acronym economy. Reported straight, with just enough side-eye to keep us sane. No satire tag here; the reality is harsh enough.

THE NEWSROOM (reported, not roasted)

enterprise $14,990/yr
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TOOLS

“Why Are SEO Tools So Expensive?” — What 115 Replies Actually Said

By R. Coleman179 likes · 115 replies
Instagram · TikTok · X · YouTube ↑ NEW PROPERTY TYPE
website-only SEO ↓ incomplete
GSC / MULTI-PLATFORM

Google Search Console Adds “Platform Properties” — Your SEO Just Got Multi-Platform

By R. Coleman842 comments
✨ AI Overview: don't click
AI OVERVIEWS

You Ranked #1. You Lost 60% Of Your Traffic. Google Says You Won.

By R. Coleman2,940 comments
brand mentions ↑ 340%
blue-link clicks ↓ 61%
GEO / AEO

New Strategy Emerges: “Be The Source The AI Quotes” Instead Of The Site People Visit

By T. Alvarez1,107 comments
📉 -72% IN A WEEK
CORE UPDATE

March Update Data: Affiliate Sites & AI-Templated Content Hit With 50–80% Drops

By Data Desk1,893 comments
📊ANALYST, EXPLAINING WHY POS. 1 = 0 CLICKS
ATTRIBUTION

Position #1 Is Officially Meaningless; Industry Adopts “Share Of SERP + AI Citations”

By R. Coleman1,455 comments